Sunday, July 31, 2016

Dear Mountain Dew.

This blog will be more personal, so I'm sorry if you've been enjoying the stories but I need to get this off my chest.

Mountain Dew, why must you be so good to me? I've been drinking you since I was three years old and I've loved you since I was three years old. But our relationship has gotten out of hand.
I am now addicted to you. When I wake up in the morning, I need you. When I go to sleep at night, I need you. I try to ignore my thirst for you but I would really appreciate it if you would stop being so good to me.

I consider my addiction to be equal to someone being addicted to tobacco or liquor. When I want you, I need you. I don't want Pepsi or Coca-Cola, I need you mountain dew.

You aren't even that amazing. Cherry Pepsi or cherry Coca-Cola is remarkable and revolutionary but you are always the same for me because I hate all your flavors. I only like the original. You look like pee mountain dew. Someone could pee in my mountain dew bottle and I couldn't tell the difference. I know this because my little brother peed in my mountain dew bottle and I couldn't tell!

So I'm sorry mountain dew but I think I'm going to quit you.

Until tomorrow.

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