Fatty McFat

Recently I've been going through a seemingly endless depression. I've tried to be around my friends, the few family members I feel are supportive, and I've attempting to get out of my comfort zone and try new things to take my mind off of my depression. But it's not working, I feel trapped within my own mind even when I'm attempting to distract myself.

A moment that vividly sticks out to me just happened four days ago. I was at the mall with my friends Cassidy and Cassiddee and we were in Rue21 trying on clothes. Cassidy tried on her clothes first and Cassiddee and I were tasked with telling Cassidy how the clothes looked. Cassidy looked great in every thing she tried on! However, she constantly would say her stomach was too fat for an outfit and when the other Cassiddee tried on her clothes she said the same thing. Honestly they both looked fantastic in their clothes!

Then it was my turn. I only picked out one outfit to try on because I didn't want to disappoint myself. I tried on a grey long sleeved shirt, acid washed denim jeans with the pre-made rips, and a pair of Vans. Before I went out of the room to see what my friends thought, I took a long look in the mirror and started tearing myself apart.

"The shirt is too small. I makes you look fatter than you already are! There is a reason why the rest of the guys in the store look better than you! You're fat! They're not! The store employees didn't even greet you! They know exactly what you know, you're too fat for this store! And those jeans!!! The only thing that needs to be washed in acid around here is you! You'd look way better dead!"

I let out a sigh and left the dressing room. I knew I wasn't going to get anything on me but I still wanted the approval of my friends. They both loved it! Cassidy said that the jeans made my butt look nice and Cassiddee said that the shirt was too loose and I should get it in a size smaller. I managed to let out a smile and thank them for telling me I looked good but as I went back into the dressing room to change into my other clothes all I could think was about how my friends just lied to my face.

The rest of the day went normally for me. We shopped for another hour, I went home, had a panic attack, cried because as much as I try to work out and loose weight, I'll never look the way I want to, I didn't eat that night, and I fell asleep about 8 o'clock feeling worse than I did that morning when I woke up.

I struggle with body image. I struggle to accept myself for me. I have an idealistic way I want to look but whenever I go to the gym I feel like everyone's starring at me. In today's world it seems like everyone is a "pretty person." Some people know how to carry themselves and their confidence makes them pretty, others are just the next male model knock off. When I went to high school I felt like I was the only guy without abs in my class, looking back at my yearbook, I was far from wrong.

We live in a world that has forgotten to see the beauty of a person from the inside. I may not look like Ryan Gosling or Channing Tatum but I've been told by everyone I know I'm extremely funny and have the ability to make anyone laugh when they're sad. But people don't care about that and being a homosexual male I can confidently say it is even worse in the LGBTQ+ community.

When guys give me a chance they tend to find out that I am a really good person to be around and I have the most positive outlook on life and on the world, but they only ever get to see that side of me if they respond to me. In the Pixelated Era we make predetermined judgement on people due to appearance and sadly that can be the difference maker between getting to know someone and swiping left but that's a topic for my next post.

Until Next Time.

Pixelated Era.

Playboy Pokemon

I'm considered to be the playboy pokemon. I don't know why anyone would assume I was associated with playboy. Just because I am the rabbit pokemon doesn't mean I'm a playboy rabbit. Maybe I look a little sexy to some people but that doesn't mean I should be drawn by fans as a playmate.

I'm Lopunny and I wish people would take me seriously. I got a mega evolution for pete's sake! I am a lethal weapon! I can kick major butt if trained correctly! But until then, I'm going to go get my picture taken by Hue Hefner.

Until tomorrow.

Dear Muffin

I have a miniature pinscher named Muffin. She is literally my life. I have dealt with long periods of depression and she has been there for me every second. She is the reason I remember to look to the positives in my life rather than focus on the negatives. I know it seems like a big task for a dog to be pressured with but my Muffin seems to handle it with ease. Muffin is my joy and she knows it. The fact that she knows she's my joy is a blessing and a curse.

She knows how much I love her and she uses it to her advantage. I have to let her outside to use the restroom. When she does her business she receives a treat for her good deed. That plan has backfired on me tremendously. I watch her outside and she has become okay with doing a circle around the yard and running back inside and expecting a treat and like the sucker I am I give it to her. She gives me puppy dog face and I can't help myself.

The other day I gave her three treats for doing nothing. After the third treat I looked at her and said, "Muffin, this is why you're fat. I'm a sucker for your puppy dig face." For that I am very sorry because I never meant to fat shame you but I don't want other people to fat shame you. I'm sorry for fat shaming you Muffin. Maybe one day you will be able to read the Internet and see this blog because I'm really sorry and I know I've said it to you but I don't know if you understand me.

In conclusion, Muffin I love you to bits but I need to stop letting you control me with your puppy dog face. First it will be treats and eventually it will be murder, all because of your puppy dog face.

Until tomorrow.

Adam and Eevee

Adam was late. Adam was very late. It was Adam's tenth birthday and he was late to get his first pokemon. He burst into Professor Kana's lab, praying that she had at least one more pokemon for him.

"Professor Kana! I need my first pokemon! I woke up late and I'm really sorry but my alarm clock didn't go off but I know I set it! I don't know why it didn't go off! I'm so -- "

"Adam it's okay but I don't have anymore pokemon here."

Adam suddenly felt a lump in his chest. Adam couldn't believe he wasn't going to get his first pokemon. Adam had waited ten years for this and it wasn't going to happen. "I'm sorry professor." Adam finally said, "I guess I'll just wait until you get more pokemon."

Professor Kana saw the despair on Adam's face, so she had to make a decision, "Adam, I will give you one pokeball and you will have to catch your first pokemon, but if you fail you will have to wait until you turn eleven." Professor Kana handed Adam one pokeball and with a little bit of hope in his eyes, he set out to catch his first pokemon.

Adam started up route 1. Adam saw Starly flying in the distance ahead, a Bidoof sleeping on a log, and a Wurmple crawling up a tree. Adam wasn't very interested in any of the pokemon he saw, but then he saw an Eevee.

Adam slowly approached the Eevee and kneeled down, looked Eevee in the eyes, and desperately said, "Eevee, I woke up late today. I was suppose to get my first pokemon today but I didn't. I was told by the Professor that I had to catch my first pokemon. I don't expect you to understand me but I would be honored if you would be my first pokemon." Adam pulled out his pokeball and tapped Eevee on the head with it.

The pokeball clicked. Adam caught Eevee.

Adam called Eevee out of the pokeball and began crying as Eevee jumped on top of him and started to lick him. Adam and Eevee were about to begin the journey of a life time.

Until tomorrow.

My Pokemon Gym for Pokemon Sun and Moon

Recently on YouTube I've seen a lot of pokemon fans making videos about what their pokemon gym would be like for Pokemon Sun and Moon. One of my personal favorites is Speqtor's because I think a pirate themed gym would be nice. All those videos got me thinking though, what would my gym be like if I got to have a gym. Well I think I found an answer and I hope you like it.

Let's start with the type. My gym would be a bug type gym. Now understandably my gym would probably be the first or second gym because I'm using the bug type. I've always loved bug type pokemon but unfortunately, in my opinion, the bug type is very underrated. I've managed to train up a Beautifly and Dustox to level 100 and I can't wait to hyper train them in Pokemon Sun and Moon because I want them to be the best Wurmple evolutions ever. But even without hyper training, whenever I send my Beautifly or Dustox into battle they constantly can make someone reassess the entire battle. I've had a person rage quit because my Beautifly fainted their Blastoise and Meganium, to say the very least I love making people rage quit because of my bugs. Now that we've established type let me get into the gym design.

My gym design would resemble a forest. When you enter the gym you see a bunch of trees and your goal is to maneuver through the trees and get to the back of the gym to battle me. The only catch is you can't miss any of the trainer battles. There would be 4 trainers and they would all have the same pokemon.

The trainers that you have to encounter would bug catchers with two level 6 Caterpies and a level 6 Weedle. My trainers won't be the hardest but they will definitely be time consuming. After you beat the fourth trainer you can make your way to me and our battle will commence.

I will have four pokemon.

The first pokemon is a level 14 Butterfree. My Butterfree will have the moves Gust, Mega Drain, Sleep Powder, and Infestation. I will most likely attempt to put your pokemon to sleep first and continue from there. After you faint my Butterfree I will send out my second pokemon.

The second pokemon is a level 15 Dustox. My Dustox will have the moves Gust, Poison Sting, Stun Spore, and Infestation. I will most likely attempt to paralyze your pokemon and continue from there. After you faint my Dustox I will send out my third pokemon.

The third pokemon is a level 15 Beautifly. My Beautifly will have the moves Mega Drain, Infestation, Bug Buzz, and Poison Powder. I will most likely attempt to poison your pokemon and continue from there. After you faint my Beautifly I will send out my final pokemon.

The fourth pokemon is a level 16 Vivillon. My Vivillon will have the moves Mega Drain, Gust, Infestation, and Stun Spore. I will most likely attempt to paralyze your pokemon and continue from there. After you faint my Vivillon I will award you with the Bug Badge and the TM for Infestation since all my pokemon had the move.

I wanted my trainers pokemon to be very under leveled because I wanted to lure you into a false sense of security and surprise you. Basically my gym will teach you to expect the unexpected. I hope you liked my gym idea.

Until tomorrow.

Creator's Block

I’ve recently started this blog and I love it. I love sharing my short stories but I also need to post personal experiences and stories as well. Sometimes I get really bad creator's block and unfortunately I’m going through a rough block. I want to write and I want to create things that will be entertaining but when I get creator’s block all I know is me.

When I get creator’s block I tend to want to write about my real life. I also feel like there are some things that I need to get off my chest and the best way for me to do that is by writing.

I guess I just wanted to give an explanation for yesterday's piece and potential future pieces.

Until tomorrow.

Dear Mountain Dew.

This blog will be more personal, so I'm sorry if you've been enjoying the stories but I need to get this off my chest.

Mountain Dew, why must you be so good to me? I've been drinking you since I was three years old and I've loved you since I was three years old. But our relationship has gotten out of hand.

I am now addicted to you. When I wake up in the morning, I need you. When I go to sleep at night, I need you. I try to ignore my thirst for you but I would really appreciate it if you would stop being so good to me.

I consider my addiction to be equal to someone being addicted to tobacco or liquor. When I want you, I need you. I don't want Pepsi or Coca-Cola, I need you mountain dew.

You aren't even that amazing. Cherry Pepsi or cherry Coca-Cola is remarkable and revolutionary but you are always the same for me because I hate all your flavors. I only like the original. You look like pee mountain dew. Someone could pee in my mountain dew bottle and I couldn't tell the difference. I know this because my little brother peed in my mountain dew bottle and I couldn't tell!

So I'm sorry mountain dew but I think I'm going to quit you.

Until tomorrow.